The Pieman's Blog for 30 December

Bizarre. Stoke striker Ricardo Fuller is sent off for slapping his team-mate Andy Griffin. You could not invent it, could you? Hardly fair play, mate for boshing one of your own! Stoke, now in the relegation zone, lose 2-1 at West Ham. I bet the coach journey home was worth witnessing.........

Bizarre. Hull City manager Phil Brown decides with his team 4 nil down at Manchester City to hold his half-time team talk on the pitch in front of the 4000 travelling Hull Fans. Hardly fair play, Phil mate, even if the team had played badly, for a host of reasons. These players have over-achieved for Brown until then. One very bad day at the office and he treats them like school kids and humiliates them in front of their own fans. Never been done before in the Premier League and should never be done again! The dressing room is the only place to sort it out. Brown's reasons, including trying to appease his supporters, were not good enough. It’s a bad gimmick, however he sees it. I hope it does not rebound on him and the club in the next few games. That coach journey home would have been interesting as well!

Liverpool, without their star striker Fernando Torres for the moment, continue to lead the Premier League. They extended their lead to three points with a crushing 5-1 win at Newcastle. It would have been more but for a great display of goalkeeping by Ireland's Shay Given. Liverpool's best player Steven Gerrard scored twice in another awesome display.

Chelsea let slip a 2-1 lead at Fulham by conceding a last minute goal and so passed on two points. I know Chelsea have injuries but there is something not quite right with manager Phil Scolari and this Chelsea season. Fair play though to Frank Lampard for another fine display and another two goals.

Liverpool may prove me wrong but I still fancy Manchester United to just retain the Premier League title - providing they can keep winning during their punishing January schedule. They have the best squad and the strongest set of attacking forwards.

Arsenal hiccupped their way back into fourth spot. They have injury problems as well but everyone is urging manager Arsene Wenger to get extra players in January. If they don't finish in the top four they will miss out on the European Champions League for the first time in 11 years. That will make the natives even more restless. Much may depend on who cash-rich Aston Villa add - much talk about striker Emile Heskey who is also wanted by Liverpool. 

It’s all making life difficult for Portsmouth manager Tony Adams whose side are in danger of sinking fast - now just one win above the drop zone. Fair play mate, Harry Redknapp is a difficult act to follow, there are several injuries and the best players are being sold or appear to be preparing to be sold as Portsmouth hit money problems. But Tony knew the score when he took the job. Now he has to prove he can be a successful number one. The jury is out!

West Brom are hanging in there. They beat Spurs two nil at home but are still bottom! However, they have closed the gap to two points and have given themselves a chance. Spurs can thank goal difference for currently keeping them out of the drop zone but it is so tight down there that nothing can be taken. There will be a surprise or two come May!

Manchester City grabbed a late, late point at Blackburn. Boxing Day also produced a late 2-2 thriller between Aston Villa and Arsenal. Yes, as we turn into the New Year it’s going to continue to be a great season in the Premier League.

I'd like to wish you all a Happy New Year. My next blog will have some of the funnies of 2008 and my predictions for what 2009 will bring....hey, and we haven't even mentioned England manager Fabio Capello......what a start he has had as England manager.

Stay with the Pieman as we reveal some exciting new plans.........

The Pieman's Blog for 22 December

Happy Christmas everyone. Get plenty of pie and football down you!

Big Sam Allardyce started celebrating early! He takes the Blackburn job after Paul Ince got the tin tack. Rovers had gone 11 games without a win. Wham, bam, thank you Sam as they smash Stoke City with three first half goals... Meanwhile oil rich, cash rich Manchester City are in a bit of bother. The new Arab owner, one of the world's most seriously wedged up men, will not be happy that City are in the bottom three and lost at the bottom club West Bromwich Albion who had not won since October.

City were awful and played like a crusty stale pie, urgh! I cannot think of anything worse... so let’s hope Mark Hughes can get some Pukka Pies type signings in and change the results. He will need to if he wants to keep the manager's job. I rate Hughes but the game is about results. The latest manager to lose his job by the way is Gary McAllister after Leeds lost their fifth successive match at the weekend. He had been in the job 11 months. McAllister will be 44 on Christmas Day. Leeds chairman Ken Bates looks like Father Christmas but the only card in his sack was Gary's P45! In fairness, Leeds are 15 points behind the League One leaders Leicester and five points outside the play-off positions............

One serious candidate for the Sunderland job is caretaker boss Rick Spragia . He has been in charge for three matches since Roy Keane quit. Sunderland had an honourable 1 nil defeat before enjoying successive four goal victories - the latest being 4-1 at Hull.... The Pieman says fair play mate! Give Ricky the job until the end of this season and then access it.
Joe Kinnear has lifted Newcastle to 12th spot. Joe has got the manager's job until the end of the season. Maybe longer if owner Mike Ashley does not find a seller. Joe has done an excellent job but I doubt if he holds onto Michael Owen for longer than the summer.......

Arsene Wenger went Christmas crackers after top referee Howard Webb sent off the Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor for two yellows in the 1-1 draw with leaders Liverpool. I thought, watching Sky Sports, that the first caution was correct; the second not so. The first called by the linesman Darren Cann (involved in the same player's red card in the 2007 Carling Cup final), the second by Webb who does not have slow-motion replay and gave what he saw. Arsenal played better after being down to 10 men. Liverpool were too cautious, and manager Rafa Benitez (issuing mobile phone orders to his staff from his homeside sofa as he recovers from a kidney stones operation) had goalscorer and biggest threat Robbie Keane substituted in the 82nd minute. Staggering against 10 men. From Arsenal's point of view a decent, battling point in the circumstances but the injury to their skipper and midfield star Cese Fabregas is a big blow for the next three weeks. Arsenal, without a trophy for three years, will not win the Premier League this season while Liverpool are drawing too many matches.

The dark horses are Aston Villa. The Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson tipped Martin O'Neill’s team as the only club likely to break into the top four other than the normal Big Four. They are now 3rd after winning at West Ham. They host Arsenal on Boxing Day and are a real threat to the Gunners for the 4th spot. Villa have some great young players, regularly praised in this blog, but what's happening in the striking department. O'Neill has the money backing from American billionaire owner Randy Lerner to spend next month and he will.

Meanwhile Manchester United, double champions in the Premier League and the European Champions League, have added the World Club championship. Now they are back in the UK to try and make up points with their two games in hand over the others. Most good judges are convinced that the Premier League title in May will go to either Chelsea or Manchester United. I believe that United's attacking strength will edge it for them. Didier Drogba is terrific and Nicholas Anelka is the League's top scorer. But after that and allowing for injuries….? Frank Lampard and Joe Cole are class. But United's Wayne Rooney, Christiano Ronaldo, Carlos Tevez, Dimitar Berbatov and Ryan Giggs plus the likes of Michael Carrick, Darren Fletcher, Paul Scholes,Anderson, Nani and so on.....The Reds to pip the Blues........

Have a wonderful Christmas. I wish you everything you wish your team.
My next blog will be next Tuesday after the Xmas football.
Fair play mate is the name of the game!

The Pieman's Blog for 16 December

Poor old Paul Ince. He might have even been sacked by the time you read this. I hope he gets longer but I don't expect so. It’s not a Father Christmas sack the Blackburn Board probably have in mind. It’s the p45 version. Oh dear! It’s almost enough to put you off your pie (only joking, but it’s no joke for Mincey!). Paul Ince, a fine player, had cut his teeth on management in the lower leagues with Macclesfield and MK Dons. The boy done well but it wasn't quite that easy at Blackburn where Paul Ince signed a three year contract to be manager. But probs straight away.

Star winger David Bentley was sold to Spurs and top goalie Brad Friedal was allowed to join Aston Villa. The previous manager Mark Hughes had probably taken the modern Blackburn as far as they can realistically go post Jack Walker. Ince, now six months into his tenure, has seen his team suffer their sixth successive defeat in the Premier League where they are five points adrift from safety. His Board were all present at the three nil away defeat at Wigan and one report had them locked into a lengthy after-match discussion. Once the media start the speculation and you keep losing and the chairman refuses to comment (nearly as bad as a vote of confidence only more honest most of the time!) you are on the slippery slope to exit doors. The chairman attended his son's wedding the day after the Wigan game - one wedding and a funeral? We will see before the weekend's tricky match with Stoke City.........

Wayne Rooney was headlines after an alleged stamp on Danish midfielder Kasper Risgard in last week's European Champions League 2-2 match with Aalborg. Risgard claimed Rooney jumped on his chest and left him with bruises. UEFA watched the TV evidence and stated no charges. Rooney's manager Sir Alex Ferguson refused to comment except to accuse the Press of causing UEFA to need to look at it! The TV replays looked bad but everyone now needs to get on with it. But Rooney has to be careful. He is a great player but he does chance it at times................

Why can Chelsea set up a Premier League record of 11 successive away wins but keep drawing or losing at home? They have only won 3 of their 9 Premier League home matches. That does mean they have dropped 14 points at home. This from a club previously unbeaten in the Premier League at home for 4 years! It’s enough to give their manager Luiz Felipe Scolari a massive headache. As it is, he spent Saturday night in hospital with kidney stone problems. Very painful........... must be catching because 24 hours later the Liverpool manager Rafa Benitz is taken to hospital with exactly the same complaint, and Rafa had a minor operation on Monday. Heard the painful one about the Brazilian and the Spaniard? We wish them both a speedy recovery...

Rafa has got a home result problem as well. Liverpool lead the Premier League by just a point from Chelsea but they have drawn 4 of their 9 home games. Three of those were goalless against Stoke, Fulham and West Ham while last weekend they drew 2-2 with Hull after being 2 nil down before Captain Marvel Steven Gerrard scored both goals...again! The reason I do not think Liverpool will be champions is that they rely too much on Steven Gerrard and the injured Fernando Torres. Alright, I know they beat Manchester United without them but that is the exception not the rule.........

Why did Rafa not bring on £20.3 million substitute Robbie Keane? I know he can't score at present but he is class and the goals will come…instead Rafa uses three other subs…Nabil El Zhar, Ryan Babel and Lucas Leiva to no avail. Potty, or whatever that is in Spanish?....

Newcastle out of the bottom three at last after their 3 nil win at Pompey. Manager Joe Kinnear ( till the end of the season at least!) wants to keep captain Michael Owen who has been offered a new contract. Will he accept it or walk elsewhere at the end of the season...?
Aston Villa up to fourth spot after their 4-2 home win over Bolton. Gabriel Agbonlahor and Ashley Young are simply brilliant. Both are showing consistent England class. Gabby drives a white £180,000 Lamborghini (he thinks credit crunch is a new biscuit!) and now wears lime-green boots! He is playing so well he can wear whatever colour boots he wants!
Pieman tears for Danny Wilson, a top manager who has been shown the door by League One Hartlepool after 6 matches without a win (aka Paul Ince). Danny got them promoted two years ago and they have slipped all the way to mid-table!....

Finally some quotes from the legendary manager:

Bill Shankly: "I was the best manager in Britain because I was never devious or cheated anyone. I'd break my wife's legs if I played against her but I'd never cheat her!"

Ron Atkinson: "It's bloody tough being a legend!"

Brian Clough: "I could manage England part-time and still walk the dog."

Jamaica coach Rene Simoes: "We are the Cinderellas of the World Cup. Our mission is to postpone midnight for as long as possible."

Ken Brown, when manager of Norwich: "With our luck, one of our players must be bonking a witch!"

Brian Horton, when Manchester City manager: "Right now if I robbed a bank I would be mugged on the way out!"

… and finally Ron Atkinson again: "Women should be in the kitchen, the discotheque and the boutique, but not in football."

That was in 1989. Big Ron has been in enough trouble since then..........

More on my blog very soon.

Have fun and play fair,

The Pieman

The Pieman's Blog for 8 December

The managers are feeling a bit peakish; one quit, one on the verge of the sack and the other too tired to attend the aftermatch news conference (used to be called press conference but hey, with the Pieman just the latest electronic commentator on the block it’s an outdated phrase so put that in your Pie and munch it!)

Roy Keane walks out at Sunderland, Paul Ince faces the chop at Blackburn after ten Premier League matches without a win and Phil Scolari can't face the after-Chelsea match chat because he is knackered from the pressure and whacked trying to speak English properly. I know the feeling, Big Phil! Try a Pukka Pie...........
Keane has always been different. Outspoken, a loner and at times intolerant! A brilliant player but hardly managerial material with his characteristics. Sunderland's classy chairman Niall Quinn has gone to great lengths to praise Keane for his contribution to Sunderland. Accepted, but he has not confirmed that for the most part they conducted business by text. Strange on Keane's part who is also believed to have resigned by text to Quinn who also talks about Keane unable to attend the club every day. Strange way of trying to do a difficult job in the first place.

What has not been said yet is that top footballers make so much money that they can afford never to work again. It makes walking out on a job much easier than in the past! I doubt if Keane will be back. I don't like quitters! And Keane spent £80 million of Sunderland's money to provide players Keane wanted. I am sorry but I think he owed it to them to at least see out his contract.

I feel sorry for Paul Ince because he wants to stay at Blackburn. I do think they should give him longer because the Premier League table is so tight it is not certain yet which three teams will go down. Much is being made about Ince being the first British black Premier League manager and a vendetta (Ince makes this claim) against former Manchester United players who become managers. I do not hold with either claim. It is nothing to do with either. It’s a results business. We also do not know what the relation is with his chairman John Williams. It may be great or it may be poor. We will soon find out. Personally, I think Ince is struggling to survive there but I would hope they will give him a bit longer. Clubs talk about the transfer window next month and Blackburn look set to lose a couple of key players but by and large it is difficult to sign quality. Loan deals are best for January. Clubs argue a new manager will be better placed to pick longterm players. It does not often work in January....

So where is Emile Heskey going? Many expect the Wigan and England striker to join Spurs. It won't happen. The Pieman predicts that Heskey will join his old Leicester manager Martin O'Neill. It would be a great move for all three - player, manager and club but it would cost quite a few million which Villa do have to spend. The losers would be Wigan and manager Steve Bruce, big time..........

Chelsea need to beat Cluj at home on Tuesday to secure a place in the European Champions League knock-out stage. One way or another they will join Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal in the next stage. Poor old Phil, key players injured; the club saying no loot for the new players he needs (the Russian owner is starting to feel the credit crunch poor lad and previously he thought credit crunch was a new biscuit!); and he is worn out with the pressure and the difficulty of learning English. When you are on millions a year - guaranteed by the way with a large pay-off if it goes belly up! - I get fed up with pressure and tiredness. That should be reserved for being skint, not knowing how to pay the bills and not having a job!

Finally for now, my favourite Sebastian Coe (now Lord Coe) story. The former Olympic great who brought the next Olympics to London is a mad Chelsea supporter. Years ago the then Chelsea chairman Ken Bates always used to leave Seb two Directors Box tickets home and away when he could make it. He turned up at the old Oxford United stadium where they had the worst "Jobsworth" of all time.

"Name, Sir", says Jobsworth to Coe.
"Coe".
"No tickets for a Mr Coe, Sir, and it’s more than my job is worth to let anyone into the Directors’ Room and Box at Oxford United without the right tickets."
A now frustrated Coe, a modest man, says reluctantly, "I don't think you understand. I am Sebastian Coe and I am with Chelsea".
To which the Jobsworth retorts, "The Chelsea hooligans, Sir, are the other side of the ground and if you say who you are, Sir, it should not take you too long to get round to that side!"

That's all for now, folks - enjoy your pies and keep those emails coming...
Have fun!
The Pieman

The Pieman's Blog for Monday, 1 December

I’ve had it up to here with the top managers blaming refs for their teams shortcoming. The Respect the Refs campaign is floundering. The Pieman wants to introduce his Fair Play, mate code!
If those managers want the refs to be perfect, unlike their players! - and want to name and shame them then they also, under the Pieman's fair play mate code, have to publically name and shame their players who miss great scoring chances, make bad passes, mess up in defence, show dissent and cheat. By the way, there is as much chance of that happening as West Bromwich Albion winning the Premier League title...extremely slim and right now in both cases slim is out of town!

The latest manager to jump on the "the ref's to blame"- “It’s not my fault, guv" is the Chelsea boss Phil Scolari. He wants an apology from referee Mike Dean claiming Dean cost Chelsea a win over Arsenal. Chelsea lost 2-1. Scolari blamed Dean and lines man Simon Beck for failing to call Robin van Persie offside when he scored Arsenal's equaliser. In fairness they got it wrong but they don’t have action replays and called the way they saw it. Football bosses do not allow technology so mistakes will be made. Funnily enough the Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger, a serial moaner at refs during and after matches, did not complain! And the managers complain about referees being inconsistent!. Scolari said, "Never before at Chelsea have I said anything about the referee”. But today is different, only for him to look at the TV, see he was wrong and say sorry. Tell the assessor to ask the referee to do both sides, not one side. Arsenal scored a goal that was one metre ahead of our player, then the same linesman gave a decision against Kalou that was never offside. They made a mistake. They are not bad, I understand that. I don't want three points, I just want "sorry" because they made a mistake.

Well, Mr Scolari, perhaps you can say sorry for the fact that Chelsea only had one shot on target and how could you be sure that if he had not been ruled offside that Kalou would have scored. After all he has only netted two goals this season!
Its all a smokescreen, used regularly by Monsieur Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson to cover, in Chelsea's case the 12 points dropped at home including taking just the one point at home against the three other BIG FOUR teams, Liverpool, Manchester United and Arsenal.
The Pieman is steaming! It’s getting boring. Managers blaming refs for everything. The matches last a minimum of 90 minutes and like you and your players the officials are not always perfect............

The Premier League table is so tight at all issues that it’s fair play to knee-jerk for many people. But not the Pieman, I say the real fair play, mate, is to be patient. Let’s get through to Easter time and see how it all shapes up then. Take Arsenal who have not won a major trophy for three years. Even some of their own fans are saying Arsene Wenger has lost the plot. Cobblers. Arsenal has done a great job for them in the past. He doesn’t lose it overnight.
Let’s have it right. Arsenal have qualified for the knock-out stage of the European Champions League with a game to spare; they are fourth in the Premier League and they are in the quarter finals of the Carling Cup when their brilliant youngsters take the field at Burnley. They have drawn Plymouth Argyle at home in the FA Cup and recently they have beaten both Manchester United and Chelsea but this has been masked by defeats at home to Aston Villa and away to Manchester City. Sir Alex was being doubted a couple of seasons ago when he didn't win a trophy (blow me how fickle and stupid can you get, doubting Sir Alex?) and Rafa has been under the cosh at Liverpool for only winning the European Champions League and FA Cup (only !)....its all crackers, mates. Fair play no one is really doubting either now and nor should they with Arsene!........

What is going on with Roy Keane? The Sunderland manager is having a recent bad run of defeats and he is deflecting the pressure by questioning his own future after the weekend's 4-1 home defeat by Bolton. Keane, who has not signed his new contract, said, "I ask myself every day if I'm the right man for Sunderland. I asked myself this morning and said I was. Sunday morning, if the answer's no we'll have to look at it." He went on: "I might wake up on Monday morning and think I am the right man, on Tuesday it might be different."
Steady on Roy, you are making the Pieman giddy. The Sunderland players made a lot of errors and were punished. But it’s a long old season. You have spent £80 million on new players and now you have to trim your playing squad and get rid of some. But you can get out of trouble. Stick by Sunderland. You have a great chairman in Niall Quinn…

The good news update is that today Roy Keane is not quitting and prepares his team for Manchester United away. Four successive home defeats; five defeats in the last six matches is panic time around but keep a cool head in the dressing room.....The question, if the bad results keep happening, will be: do the Board think Roy Keane is the right man? Hopefully it will not come to that.......

What was Ronaldo playing at - handling the ball from the corner at Eastlands, getting a second yellow (rightly) and being sent off. Unlucky on the first caution where I thought he may have had the benefit of the doubt. Second one I don't go with arguments of "heard a (phantom) whistle or "he was protecting his face"...

Little Histon, a Cambridgeshire village that once housed Jam manufacturers Chivers (XMAS puds, Old English Marmalade etc) knock-out once mighty Leeds United in the FA Cup second round. It was great drama on the telly with a postman scoring the only goal .Then it was anti-drama at the third round draw a few minutes later when they get Swansea at home instead of Manchester United. Why can't they go back to the traditional Monday lunchtime slot? Histon savour the win and then expectations of a fantastic draw...only for the players on the live dressing room shots looking like someone who had had their favourite pies badly cooked to a cinder! Hardly fair play mate.............

Too much news this edition. More funnies on the way on my next blog. The Pie Girls and myself are in the recording studios next week in London for our new record. The Pie Girls have asked for several things to be put in their dressing room. I just want some Pukka Pies.

One of the Pie Girls, probably Smita Gupta from Birmingham, will be reading some of your emails and texts on the next show. The Pie Girls are Bella Watson from Manchester, Carmen from Barcelona (no mentions of Manuel's granddaughter!), Ushi from Shanghai, Janet Eriksson (no relation but far better looking) from Southampton with a Swedish father, and Smita. They are right out of the Premier League school. The Pieman would not expect anything less. Fair play mate.

Bill Shankly quotes soon. The legendary Liverpool manager who once said: "Football is not a matter of life or death. It’s far more important than that."..............Stay with the Pieman!